How Do You Own The World? How Do You Own Disorder?

Mosy on over here kids.
Lemme tell ya a story.

There's this one time, when yerr daddy was growin' up- I was about ya'll's age. Innyhoo, yer mother n I met at a bar, see, n she looked hot as a tamale. She had that bleach blonde hair n her li'l mini skirts n heels n whatnot. Spicy li'l thing, i tell you. Innyyhoooo, it all started when I saw her checkin' me out from de uddersahhd a that bar. She had a tequila in 'er hand, n i had some busch lite in my hand. Ya see, I was young n stupid 'cause that shit's pisswater. Innyhoo, I mosied on over to yer mother, see, n I ask'd her for her number. She say she ain't got one-- so i buy 'er a drink. We get ta chattin' n she invites back ta her place for a movie. We ride in my dodge pickup back ta her place, see, she used ta live back in dem trailer park wheels over yonder. Innyhoo, we git to 'er place n she offers me 'nother drink. I'm already piss drunk by now, so it don't even matter no more. we sit on down, have a drink. She starts yappin' on n on bout something. who knows? Innyhoo, she put on a movie n started struttin' toward me. before she could even say a word, I grab 'er by 'er skirt n pull 'er onto my lap. She's straddlin' me lahk a bowlegged cowboy straddles his black beauty. Man, we started goin! Wheeew, hoo, boy, she was all over me. We were makin' out n whatnot when I yanked up 'er skirt so I could seem dem goodies- yanked it damn near up to 'er ears. By that tahme she was already pullin' down my pants n tuggin' at my johnson. We started going at it n whooo boy she was so nervous! She was shakin' lahk a damn rattlesnake, but man she rode me lahk a true cowgirl! N She made me feel lahk i was hung like a horse! hyuk, hyuk, I came n went faster than a mechanical bull rida!
yee haw! Whooo, wee! Good tahmes....

n that is how I met yer mother...