January:
- I went NC with a big group of my friends and had an ABSOLUTE BLAST.
- Then I went back to school (NP!)only to get sick again just short of 2 weeks later. I got a fever of 103, I could hardly breathe, I was coughing up blood, I was weak, my throat was swollen and I went to the hospital. I rode in an ambulance for the first time that I remember ( it apparently costs $$$ in NY), I got to the hospital and got diagnosed with Mono, Bronchitis and a throat... ulcer I think is the word. No, Abcess. Anyway, it sucked. So I dropped out of school for the semester only having 2 days to wrap up loose ends, pack and say goodbye to my friends, teachers and employer on campus. ughhh.
- By this point, RAP and I are in an open relationship and I'm semi- interested in BAF, but not seriously mind you. yikes.
February:
- So, I'm home healing not allowed out of the house much (at all) without supervision and transportation of parents.
- I was joking with BAF about Valentine's so he freaks. He thinks I'm way into him, steps off and starts acting like a jerk to deter me. Not only was I not looking for a relationship, I didn't want to even hang with him at all after a while.
- Meanwhile, my brother ends up getting busted for possession on campus, etc. and gets charged, court and consequence up the whazoo. So, he's kicked out of school and home. Both mom's kids are home again when she thought she had finally gotten them out. Sucks for her.
- so this is the first segment where things start to blur. RAP and I hang out and whatever over Spring Break and never really ended things. mid-April, he has a new g/f. She's awesome, but he likes to rub it in my face. He doesn't see it as that of course, he sees it as "you're my best friend, I HAVE to tell you about it!" great.--- I' wasn't over him yet. So I was really upset etc. etc.
- Meanwhile, at some point I reconnected with JM whom I knew in high school. We sorta went out on and off. More-so, we hung out and treated things like dates, then he left and denied it ever happened, everytime. So naturally, that resulted in drama and confusion because we both had a large set of baggage and indecision. We're still good friends though, thankfully.
- Also, i got a job @ a grocery store where I still work. I dig my co-workers and made some friends, etc. but i'll go into that later.
- I also went back to campus where I *was* at school (NP) to visit my friends, and I had a blast!
June-July:
- throughout all this: friend drama. So and so isn't talking to so and so who's mad at so and so for hooking up with so and so. ugh. Things kinda fell apart with the friends I went to NC with.
- Meanwhile, I met my current boyfriend, MS. Actually, we met at work back in March, but I didn't see him as a prospective boyfriend then. Anyway, I asked him to hang out one time, and it went reallly well, though I didn't know he considered it a date. So both decided to consider it a date, and we've been seeing each other, transitioning to inseparable since.
- 4th of July-- Super awkward. RAP and his g/f there with MS and I. RAP and MS shooting each other and me looks. WEIRDD and many of my friends were on drugs.
- MS and I went to a PSC event which was amazing and really brought us closer. thanks PostSecret.
- So, this part is a blur. I was busy in school (community college this time) and work constantly. Work 30 hours a week and school full-time. I also hung out MS a lot.
- My friends stopped inviting me places and calling me to hang out, usually assuming I was busy or with MS, which was often true, but I had (and still have) no problem making time. I stopped calling and inviting them too because I felt lonely, exhausted, and bewildered most of the time (at least socially). I had a lot of trouble finding me-time and my sanity. I also had trouble keeping up with all the group dynamics going.
- Craziness. Other random nonsense happened. A lot of self-discovery and maturity. A lot of new experience. A lot of emotional breakdowns. Made a bad mistake at the end of the month.
- I realized one of my best friends hates MS, which sucks because they're both SO important to me. Still haven't figured out what to do about that one.
- I went back up to school again in Oct. to visit my friends in NP. I miss them, but there was drama there too of course.
December:
- Holiday chaos! Parties! Shopping!
- Final exams!
- and weekly appointments to the shrink.
Still blurry. We''ll see what happens in 2010.
Will I keep distancing myself and taking care of responsibility? (work, school, future?) we'll see.
I miss having friends.
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