We've No Time to Stall or Protocol

Sea Legs by The Shins-- Awesome song <333

Quit? Check. Halloween? Check...? Therapy? Check.

Well It feels great to get some lingering issues out of the air.
Step two; get my shit together.

not as Easy.

Last night, i broke down again for the sake of nothing. I was really feeling strange. For the first time in ages, I prayed to God. I was very relaxed for a little while, but then I got this strange rush. I got an insane adrenaline rush. I ran all over the place and finally just leaned over a railing catching my breath. At that time, a man looks up at me and says "Happy Halloween!" and I was kindof caught off-guard, but I still said "thank you! A happy Halloween to you too!" and he said
" Cheer up! Don't be so glum!" and then he flashed me this smile and walked away.
It made everything better for a little while. On the way returning home, I burst into tears kindof slowly. I felt really scared for some reason. The quit was sortof tense, but sortof peaceful. When we said Goodbye, the tears started pouring down. My love asked me what was wrong, and I told him I didn't know what to tell him. He said "I don't know what to say, Leighann." I said "I guess goodbye." and I got out of the car. He pleaded quietly a bit, asking what was going on and he thought it was something he had said. And I told him no. I sortof lied, because it was apart of the everythingness that made me afraid. He watched me approach my house with a devastated look on his face. I looked back it him, with all my makeup smeared under my eyes, fumbling with my keys. Sat on the steps and said "It really is nothing that concerns you". He waiting a bit for me to say soemthin else. he finally said "Goodnight, Leighann. Try to feel better, okay?" I nodded and turned the keys in the door and entered.

Since then; no calls and No messages. I feel sortof guilty, but I wonder if he will want to speak later?

I am scared for everything. There is this pressure about the future and on the decisions now, and doing excessive amounts of work and activity to the point where one might break down and ultimately achieve the opposite.